When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
