One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
