why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
