We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
