His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
