I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
