Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
