I only kidnapped one of them. chill
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize