Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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