You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
