I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
