If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize