you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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