I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
