I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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