Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
