Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
