I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
