You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize