She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
