Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
