I wanna bring you to show and tell
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
