my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
