The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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