in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
