It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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