Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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