So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
