dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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