Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
that is very illegal...i love you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
