The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize