you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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