I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
