So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
