the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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