We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
