Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he puts the penis in happiness.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
