He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
