dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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