mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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