And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
