i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
