Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
