all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
