I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
