who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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