I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
