He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
