i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
