Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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