I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
