You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
