Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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