so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
3 2 1 whiskey
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
