I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
