Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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