um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
