hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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