Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
