I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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