butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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