let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
