Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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