we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
