The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize