We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
