I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize