Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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