The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Boobs speak an international language.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
