We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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