New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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