there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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